I remember as a teenager having really helpful insights into life. I had insights related to spirituality, relationships, my inner emotional make up and others. The thing was, these insights didn't come through any specific conscious effort on my part. It felt more like they were a gift that organically came from the conditions that my mind, body and spirit were living in.
I remember thinking of these insights as pearls that would drop into my mind. Perhaps, I had the image of a pearl because it develops naturally in the ocean without any active effort to create it. It is a by-product of it's environment.
Anyways, what can we do to help create the right conditions for our inner pearls to form and come to us?
The answer totally has to do with creating WHITE SPACE in your life!
Here's the deal. During each person's early developmental process there is an experience that causes them to feel that they are not fine just the way we are. The person now feels (consciously or subconsciously) that something is wrong with them that they need to overcome. Now they need to prove to themselves (and sometimes others) that in fact they are lovable, capable, independent, worthy, or anything else that they felt they where deficient in.
Let's face it. Naturally we are O.k. with being stretched and challenged outside of our homes but get frustrated when it happens in our relationships. The irony is, that being O.k. with the challenges that come up at home is the most important skill and improves your quality of life the most.
Here's the deal. To truly be alive we need to challenge ourselves to get out of "auto pilot/numb/frozen" mode and open up to feeling the fullness of life and its beauty. However, part of that deal is that now you will also feel more painfully when you are off kilter and not in touch with that beauty. Now you will feel more powerfully your own deficiencies and how they are holding you back from that very aliveness. Now you will feel the loss of that beauty more deeply .
Lets talk about having courage to keep stretching our selves to live bigger, brighter and more. Lets talk about getting out of situations that work or are comfortable but are holding us back from our energetic, emotional, interpersonal and spiritual best selves.
Feeling the beauty and vitality of life sometimes has more to do with courage than anything else. Courage to open your arms, place a huge grin your face, and try your freakin’ best to let go of all the reasons why you are not allowed to be elated right now.
Travailing and vacations are the sweet parts of life and I look forward to them throughout the year.
However, often times what is not spoken about is the stress and challenges that comes along with traveling.
Currently I am on a trip with my wife and two year old daughter. I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time but the stress of flying half way across the world and adjusting to a whole new place definitely took its tole on me.
The first night that we landed I was REALLY REALLY wound up, my mind was racing, and I could barely sleep.
Do you see in yourself or perhaps someone you know a tendency to seek out intensity?
This can show up as frequent worrying; even when everything is fine and working out perfectly. Or it can be the need to constantly check your phone or facebook every few minutes.
Today I am standing for the dream that you may have given up on.
Today I am standing for what I know to be true, have found, have lost, and keep fighting for each day.
Imagine coming home from a stressful day at work and you badly need to unwind, de-stress, and get back into your zone.
Imagine, after a long day finally sitting down to a candle lit dinner with your wife, husband, or special someone.
I want to share with you something that is truly real for me.
One of my biggest goals is to be able to fully enjoy each moment that life sends me and not get caught up in limiting or negative thinking patterns.
However, there is a specific thought process that totally gets in the way of me being able to live life and experience it how I would like to.
This thought process goes something like:
Before we can fully understand stress or trauma we need to cover the basic three components that make up any traumatic experience.
These three components are: FIGHT, FLIGHT, AND FREEZE
Understanding these principals is integral to helping one recover from a traumatic or stressful event.
(If you have not yet read understanding stress and trauma part 1 jump there first and then come back to this article)
Now that we have described the physiological background of trauma we can better understand how to deal with our day to day stressors and challenges by drawing the necessary parallels.
Imagine you need to get to work on Monday morning for an important meeting at 9:00 A.M. You leave with ample time to spare but are caught in ridiculous bumper to bumper traffic. You feel your palms are sweaty, your breathing is shallow and you find yourself really stressed out. In this scenario your life is not in danger, but part of your brain still feels a sense of threat or urgency and lights up the sympathetic nervous system